Children's Hospital

We love Children's Hospital here in Boston. Not that we like having to go there, because of course we'd rather not, but because every time we have been there it has been as positive an experience as we could wish for.

Today Clara had her tubes put in. We had to be there at 6:30 am for an 8 am surgery, which meant leaving the house before six. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything, and I was worried about the wait and how she would take it. She had a few spells of heart-wrenching crying after she dug around in my backpack and realized there were no snacks to be had, but other than that she was fine.

It was a strange experience to hold her while they gave her the anesthesia and watch her fall asleep. Less than twenty minutes later I was by her side again when she violently startled and woke up (the nurse thought she was going to fall off the bed). I gather that is normal, but it was a bit spooky. She had a tough time coming out of the anesthesia, crying and acting completely disoriented. We tried to get her to drink, but for a 1/2 hour she wanted nothing to do with any liquids. I finally got her to take some apple juice from a syringe and she sucked down a few ounces in that manner only to immediately throw it up all over both of us.

By the time I got her home, though, she seemed fine. She drank and ate and walked around acting pretty happy. This afternoon she napped and tonight she seemed back to normal.

The surgeon said she removed a lot of thick fluid from behind her ears, especially her left one. So I am glad we did the surgery. I imagine I am hearing new sounds and words from her already. She seems to actually be saying "Lee" tonight instead of "ee," and I swear she said "puzzle." Ok, maybe it was "bubble," but it was definitely a new word!

In some odd way it was nice to be back at Children's today. We haven't been there since our visits last summer (when Lee had her last urinary reflux test and Clara a cardiology checkup). I always leave feeling incredibly grateful that my kids have problems that are minor and/or fixable, because you see plenty of kids where that is not the case. When I mentioned this to one of the nurses today she said "I'm so glad you see that. Not everyone does."

Just a Bike Please

I have often struggled with the prevalence of pink, purple, and all things cute in the world of girls' fashion. Clothing itself isn't so bad. There are lots of options out there, and my girls wear dresses and pants and shirts that are feminine without being super girl-y. I must admit it is hard to avoid pink altogether, although honestly I don't object to pink itself. I just don't like all pink all the time.

Let me just, as an aside, mention that if my girls had long flowing hair they could wear boys clothes from head to toe and it would be fine. But since both of my girls display a remarkable lack of hair, if they are in anything that might even be construed as boyish they will get mistaken for boys. Which, for Clara at 18 months old is no big deal, but you start to feel bad when your 4-year-old asks "Why did that man call me a boy?"

But back to our shopping options. Outerwear and gear is where it gets tough. Take snow boots, for instance. There are girl boots and boy boots, and nothing that could possibly be mistaken as either. You might think you could buy a pair of navy or black boy boots that would be neutral, but you would be wrong because they have bulldozers all over them. Or the navy boots are splashed with orange flames (something about Navy+Orange just screams "I AM A BOY!!!)." The girl boots are purple with pink hearts, or pink with Hello Kitty on them, or some other pretty design.

Many things are like this. Bedding, coats, swimsuits, and shoes, just to name a few.

This weekend Bridges and I spent a ridiculous amount of time looking for a bike for Lee's birthday. Just a bike. Nothing fancy. You'd think that wouldn't be too hard. Now I must say that we were somewhat limited because we could only buy a bike with 12" rims since Lee is so tiny. But still, it shouldn't be that hard.

We were open to many colors: black, blue, orange, green, purple, red. Nearly anything except pink would have fit the bill. We could not find a plain simple bike. The boy bikes are just so boyish. The girl bikes are ridiculously frilly, and usually have white wheels (WHITE WHEELS?!?!).

This is what we ended up with:
It's not so bad, aside from the paw prints all over it and a cartoon of a kitty (because all girls love kitties) on the seat.

I'm honestly thinking of bringing it back for this but I just don't know. (BTW check out the girl version of the same Trek bike). I don't want to make my daughter feel ridiculous by making her ride a boy bike. But I also don't want to say "Here is a bike, and its defining characteristic is that it that is pretty. If you own this bike, you will be pretty. And that is what is most important."

No. Just a bike. Please.

Skyline Trail

Today we went to Blue Hills Reservation, which offers surprisingly rocky and steep hiking given its proximity to Boston. We weren't really sure how much we should tackle, considering that the the longest steep hike Lee had done previously was a scramble up to Eagle Cliff over Squam Lake last summer (about 1/2 mile).

We started on the Skyline Trail, which presents spectacular views of Boston in the distance, and is marked with blue blazes.


Lee took to it right away, leading the way and pointing out each blue blaze along the trail, all the while carrying on an endless monologue about blue blazes and not getting lost and finding your footing.

Here are two of my favorite quotes:

"I'm all sweaty. My head's sweaty, my hat's sweaty, my bones are sweaty, and my muscles are sweaty!"

"I don't need my hands right now going down this part, but they're right here attached to my body, just in case I need them later."

In the end, we hiked from the visitor center west to Eliot Tower, and then back down to Houghton's Pond, over 2 miles with almost 800 feet of elevation gain (much of it over extremely tough terrain). She was tired at the end, but she stuck it out. At the pond we were able to put our feet in the water and buy some slush puppies and lemonade. There was a nice little beach, and Lee and Clara played on the sand.



Lee did not want to leave, but when we told her we had to go because we felt that Clara (who enjoyed her ride in the backpack during the hike) had had enough sun, Lee said "Well, how about we just leave her under a bench somewhere, and then we can stay longer?"

Now that's sisterly love.

Say Cheese!

The days of Clara being natural in front of the camera may rapidly be coming to an end. She loves to imitate Lee...

Dinner with an Old Friend

Last night B and I had a babysitter come watch the girls and went back to Jamaica Plain, where I lived when we first met, where we lived when we were first married and where Lee was born. It was another gorgeous spring night (I will never again say Boston doesn't have beautiful springs after this past week). We strolled through the Arboretum.



Then we walked by our old house and went to an Indian restaurant for dinner (which was much better than either of us remembered). All of this stirred up lots of memories and we told stories and laughed and talked about old times. It was just like having dinner with an old friend. Funny how you rarely have conversations like that in the day-to-day of a marriage.

Easy Entertainment

What a fabulous weekend. The weather was gorgeous and we got to work on house projects (window washing, seeding the back yard, pruning, and other not-so-glamorous but oh-so-rewarding jobs). The girls had a great time. They spent the entire time outside playing and entertaining themselves with water, chalk, dirt, stones, and Teaberry Hedgehog (who has become a character in Lee's make-believe world).

I realize there will come a time when a weekend of chores will not be interesting at all for them, but we're really enjoying it while it lasts.

The Beach? Already?

We usually go to the beach for the first time on my birthday, when we drive up to the North Shore and freeze. The end of April here is no guarantee of temperatures much over 45, and we always forget that 45 on the beach with the wind feels sooo much colder than in our sheltered backyard. Sometimes we last 1/2 an hour (but on one particularly cold year only a few minutes) before driving to Woodman's for our yearly fried clam feast.

So it felt a bit like cheating to think about going to the beach on April 17th. But oh it was a beautiful morning, in the 30's when we woke up but warming up quickly. So we packed a lunch and spent the morning at our favorite beach, Wingaersheek in Gloucester. It was spectacular - 60 degrees with just a slight breeze and incredibly clear skies. Lee had a blast running around on the rocks, and she even changed into short sleeves and shorts.

There's something wonderful about living just 40 minutes from such a beautiful spot and actually taking advantage of it now and again.

The Mad Goose

It is, indeed, finally spring. 65 degrees and sunny. Short sleeves and sandals.

Today we visited Codman Community Farm in Lincoln, which is a great place to go with kids. It was our first visit, and so we actually stopped in the office to ask what the rules were, and there weren't really any rules. So we wandered around all the different barns looking at newborn lambs and goats as well as pigs that were rust-colored (!) and loads of interesting chickens, turkeys, ducks, and geese. Oh, and some rabbits.

Then we bought these beautiful pastel-colored eggs laid by Araucanas.

Lee really wanted to pet something, but I'm never comfortable with petting strange animals because you just never know (one of the rare areas where I may be more cautious than most). So, on the way out we saw a cat sunning itself against the office, and she bent down to pet it with her back to the world.

As she was petting the cat, I spied a black and white goose nearby strutting around and thrusting his neck back and forth. In retrospect, warning bells went off in my head, but I shushed them because he wasn't very close to Lee and honestly I just didn't think he was going to do anything. But I have been around geese before and should have known better. Instead I stood there, holding Clara on my hip, a bit drunk in the moment - that overload of sunshine you feel in the spring as well as the fact that Clara was actually not fussing. So I was slow to react when that damn goose went after Lee. With her kneeling down it was taller than she was, and it went at her head and neck, pecking like crazy. She just curled into a fetal position and it went to town.

I did, after what seemed like an eternity of watching this, get into motion, but of course I had only one arm free, so I kicked at the goose and attempted to pull Lee out of the way by an arm. That goose just wouldn't let it go. Eventually I broke them up, but by then Lee was screaming bloody murder. I am still amazed that no one came running to see what was going on. Thankfully I realized that she was more scared than hurt (I remember a goose really bruising me as a kid), and I had to secretly laugh as she screamed "I am never coming back to this farm again!!!!" as I got her in the car. Really, the service there was horrible.

Lee was in tears, Clara was crying again, and my heart was racing. Boy, talk about an innocent moment spoiled.

Teaberry Hedgehog

Today we bought a hedgehog. It is our first statuary purchase, and I think he is quite good-looking.


Lee named him Teaberry Hedgehog, and has hidden him in "The Brickens," which I gather she named some time ago.

Tu-be or Not Tu-be?

Ear Infection #7 is not responding to antibiotics. Actually, it has responded to the two courses of augmentin, only it's returned after the course is completed. So maybe we're on #8 or possibly #9 now, and Clara's on her fourth antibiotic since the beginning of March. She started azithromycin Monday and seems no better. She has an awful cough which wakes her up while she sleeps, a low-grade fever, and her nose runs constantly. She obviously feels terrible, and she alternates between wanting to be held and wanting to lie on the ground and cry. Both are tiring for me (and I only bring up how I feel because the fact that I am just done with this factors greatly into our upcoming decision).

I took her to an ENT specialist yesterday and she is a good candidate for tubes. Normally with the summer coming up they would recommend that we wait and see how she does in the fall (because most kids outgrow this), but since her infections aren't clearing with treatment they say we could go ahead now. Notice I say "could" and not "should." I'm finding that it is hard to actually get an opinion from the medical community these days - they like to just give you options and have you decide (for fear of a lawsuit). How the heck am I supposed to know what to do?

There's lots of information out there, both for and against. And we'll never know what would have happened if we make the decision the other way. But from what I've filtered through, Clara does not fall into the category of kids where it would be considered unnecessary, and there is a lot of anecdotal evidence from parents (including ones who tried to avoid the surgery) who were just thrilled with the outcome.

My dad, who sees Clara every few weeks, saw her during a rare good day last week and could not get over how different she seemed from all the other times he's seen her. He must have said "Ruth, she's a different kid" about ten times during his visit. That's how we all feel - that underneath there is this sweet happy little girl who just doesn't feel good most of the time.

And so we ponder. We see her pediatrician this morning and we'll decide after that.

Hopes and Aspirations

Lee is going to be a race car driver, a doctor, and a policeman when she grows up.

Clara just wants her ears to feel better.

Clara @ 16 Months

Here's what Clara's up to at 16 months:

- she's very into accessories (hats, shoes, beads).
- she loves to go outside. She'll grab her coat and go stand by the door, and she gets very upset if someone goes outside and leaves her behind.
- She's typically sleeping 11-12 hours at night and 2-3 during the day (when she's healthy, that is)
- She's extremely attached to Tiger.
- She loves to play "Chase Clara".
- She will go sit in the wagon and wait to be pushed.
- She's starting to go up stairs with hands and feet (as opposed to knees), and can walk over thresholds and down ramps.
- She loves slides and swings.
- She loves to swim and is fearless. Going completely under the water doesn't seem to faze her at all.
- She has a few words (thank you, please, ma-ma, da-da, "ee" (Lee), down)
- She loves to scribble and is always getting into the art cabinet and pulling out paper and pencils or markers. She proudly gives you her masterpieces afterwards.
- She likes the little scooters.
- She eats a good variety of food.
- She loves to walk- she'll walk a fair distances with incredible single-mindedness.
- She's currently not very happy about being left in the child-care at the Y.
- She throws little tantrums quite often - rolling on the ground and fussing.
- She's starting to enjoy looking at books and will sit through shorter board book readings.

Spring Surprises

This is our first spring at The Brown House, and we've got surprises popping up all over the place. It seems that scilla has naturalized in our yard, as there are hundreds of these little flowers poking through the ground. This one is the only one to actually bloom so far; it's against the south-facing part of the foundation where it's nice and warm. Lee is having great fun running around the yard and pointing out the green shoots coming up.


She also found this cluster of snowdrops behind some azalea bushes.


I love these tiny spring woodland bulbs that are brave enough to poke their heads up despite the danger of a late snowfall. After the cold March we had and the cold rainy April weather today, it's nice to be reassured that spring has indeed arrived.

Wait, I'm not ready for this!

I never thought I'd be having the GOD discussion with Lee when she isn't even four. Wow....this stuff is hard. I mean, I don't even know what I believe, how can I answer her questions?

It all started with death. Lee's been a bit death-obsessed on and off since Little Cat died last spring. Today she was playing make-believe games that involved dying and, of course, "undying." She wanted to talk about bodies and what happens to them when we drove by the cemetery today.

Tonight she wanted to read a book of bible stories (a baptism gift). We reached the Easter story and the questions started. The fact that Jesus' body was put in a cave fascinated her. I explained that bodies are burned or buried or put away because they rot (like a bruise on a banana or sour milk) and aren't healthful. We talked about the cycle of life. I asked her to think about the old tree stump in our yard that is turning into dirt ("why doesn't it smell?") and how new plants will eventually grow in that dirt.

Here is just a sample of questions that followed:

"What happens to me after I die?"
"Will I come back as a plant?"
"Who made God? You told me that you and Daddy made me."
"When was God a baby?"
"Where is God? Can I meet him? When?"

and my favorite: "Was God a stump?"

Ear Infection #7 (Reprise)

Monday, after four days on Omnicef, I took Clara back in because she still seemed unhappy. I was sure I was wrong and that ear infection #7 would be cleared, but the doctor took one look and said they were just as bad as they were the previous Friday. So she's probably had a raging ear infection for well over a week now. And she has conjunctivitis.

As does Lee. Both. The conjunctivitis and the double ear infection. So this is her second ear infection in a month. Yikes. My kids have taken more antibiotics than I thought they'd have in their entire lifetime.

It turns out that this particular conjunctivitis/ear infection combo is probably caused by a little bug called H Flu, which happens to respond particularly well to Augmentin, which is of course the antibiotic Clara just finished less than two weeks ago. Round and round we go....

But now it's Thursday, and today was the first day in a long time that Clara seemed happy, so the stuff must be working. It has been wonderful to see her smiling and laughing today. I have felt terrible that she has spent so much of the past six months being miserable. And selfishly, I feel we're missing out because this should be such a fun age, and she's our last child, and it's just slipping away with a low-grade fever and fussiness.

I am going to become proactive, however, because Bridges and I are both beginning to fear permanent damage to the ears. We've heard so many stories of people with scarring or hearing loss from recurrent or long-lasting ear infections. We have begun wondering whether she doesn't respond to us at times because she can't hear. Partly I think it's her personality - she tends to be a bit of a bulldog and does not want to be swayed from her course. But there's also the fact that she has about three words at 16 months. Lee had at least thirty by now. But then again second kids tend to talk slower, or so they say. It is so hard to know.

So here is my three-pronged approach. I have an appointment for her with an ENT and an audiologist in early May. I have an appointment next week with a chiropractor who treats alot of kids. And I am going to start dropping garlic-infused olive oil in to her ears a few times a day.

Hey, it can't hurt.